Love All

The Everlasting Gumdrop

 Wow, it’s already 2009! The most recent blog I’ve done was last year about 6 to 5 months ago.  It is amazing how time flies by so fast and how I can forget about blogging….needless to say, I even lost my username and password to my own blog. How disgraceful. 

   So today is FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH!!! (Hm, I’m wondering If I should change my title to something more related to today….) I was surfing online yesterday when I saw an ad for a movie called Friday The Thirteenth and realized today was the day of the cursed. I’m not a big superstition fan, however, I think it’s fun thinking about these mystical holidays and superstitious days. I’m just waiting for that moment for something bad to happen….it wouldn’t be so great but it would definitely be interesting.

  So, over the past couple of months, I feel I have changed. Certainly in age, my weight, my looks, my hair, my room, my habits, my personality, even my thoughts. As I read over my blogs from before and compare them to how I think now, I can see the tremendous change in the way I think. Rather than being mature or immature, the knowledge that I have consumed over a year is incredible. 

  It is time to take a step back and discover who I am, before taking a step into the world. 

I Think I Am The Prettiest Girl In The World

I met some people today and hung out with them. It was just the normal “hang out”, chillin’ things we did…..sitting at a coffee shop, pretending to be in our 20′s….etc. etc. And as I was talking to them, something struck me very hard.

  Some of them were quite ugly.

I really don’t mean this in an offending way and I do not judge people by their looks, but giving the sincere truth,

they were ugly.

 I started to become an outcast of our hang out group, and dived into my own little bubble. I started to imagine, and wonder about how people think about their OWN looks. 

 I don’t want to give away my biggest secret by telling the whole world  how I think about myself, but I am curious about how others see me, and if their judgment is the same.

 So those who are….”ugly”….. do they know that they’re ugly?

Like maybe, I am ugly.

 I have indeed seen my ugliest moments in life. But sometimes, I have seen my okay days in life.

Is that just because it’s me? Is that because I can’t make my OWN SELF discouraged? 

Many people say that our society is changing; that people TRY not to put appearances first, but it is nearly impossible. Even when people search for “boyfriends or girlfriends,” the first thing they look for (generally) is their looks. It is certainly not the best way to be finding your soulmate, (sorry guys and girls I don’t mean to offend you)  but it’s hard not to avoid the fact that some are fabulously handsome or pretty, and some are just merely….dorky or nerdy. (Though nerdy guys are attractive.) 

   Then again, people who are pretty….they KNOW that they are pretty. Which confuses me even more! The fact is, I have seen people who are snobby or arrogant, because they know that they are “all- that.” Well, screw them because being the prettiest in the world doesn’t mean everything.

You know what, I should be watching Lion King right now……because I am going in circles with this topic.   

It has been bugging me so much, and I still cannot find the answer.

I am so desperate to hear what others think, so please please plleasssseee help me out!

Blink 

Malcolm Gladwell on TED  (<– Click on this button to watch!)

I have been reading Blink, for one of my summer reading books this summer. I found this book very fascinating, and went a step farther and researched about the author. I found this video, and thought that the story was so interesting and audience-catching topic. Not only did I learn about his theory in the human mind of conscious and unconsciousness, I found out that he was a public speaker! I have a lot to learn from him!

A World Without No Tests

Think about it, a world without no tests. No competition, no desire, no motivation. No nothing. Just go to school, everyone goes to Harvard. And better yet, all the college’s change their name to Harvard….then everybody CAN really go to Harvard!! Woohoo!

   Ok, lets face it. I hate tests and I always dream about a whole school year without them.

    However, what if it was the reality, what if somebody did abolish tests in schools…..would it still be “awesome, and rockin’” for you? 

I’m not sure if I would be too pleased. Not considering those who don’t study or those who do not care about what will become of them in the future, it would be life-changing news for them. But for those students who have worked so hard, and is still working hard to reach their goals, it’s a different story. Tests are what gives levels and rankings. Although it is not good to judge people, especially young kids, with test grades, it is still something that needs to be focused on. 

  Unless if you’re a genius, and if you admit your not Einstein, then it is clear that if you try your best and study hard, you can get good results! There may be some cases where you might get more or less lucky, but in the end, tests always prove your ability and how much you worked for it. Studying makes perfect!

Tests are fair. 

I can’t believe I am defending the term “tests” at age 15. I feel like some old granny. But when I heard that one of the candidates for the next Korean Education leader proposed to ban all tests, it shocked me.  I was beginning to feel nervous and unstable. All along, I’ve been struggling with tests and grades and wished for them to disappear, but when reality began to accept my wishes, I wanted to take it all back. Although I only have 3 more years in high school and it would not affect ME, I am worried about the younger students and our next generations. 

  Studying is and can be the easiest thing in life. Nothing is simpler than working hard and succeeding. For example, being a sports star…..it’s not that easy, it’s actually VERY HARD. Famous pros such as Federer, Michael Phelps, and Tiger Woods are incredibly talented athletes. Not only does it take them years of practice… they need support, sponsors, and most importantly the god-given talent. If they don’t have the outstanding for sports, even with incredible amount of practice, there will always be a certain limit. On the other hand, lets compare this to academics. Although academics is extremely hard as well, it is an independent play. If you set your mind on achieving something then someday you will. By studying, you can even earn money, by getting scholarships!!! How awesome is that! 

This eventually leads to what I have to say.

I want to say that tests cannot be banned. Neither our academics should be lowered in value. As time goes by, knowledge and information gets doubled and everything becomes competition for who consumes more.  Academics should ultimately be more recognized and viewed very significantly to students. 

 I am sincerely sorry to those who have been grinding their teeth while reading this..but this is definitely something debatable.  

Wanna take a shot and debate me? Lets go!

The Ugly Duckling Finally Goes On Stage

I have been to both Korean and American Schools, and I have experienced the EXTREME differences between them.  The schools, have the same goals, wanting the students to achieve good grades. Whereas the students, have countless number of different goals each student wants to obtain.  

    The fact is, Korean kids simpl have a practical goal of going to Seoul University. Just like how many people in want to go to Harvard in America.  More specifically, they need to get perfect grades for the only 4 tests they have in one year. Amazing, huh? It sounds quite easy, and being in an environment of American education, It does feel like we could go back and ace all the tests. But no, its not that easy. It’s like having only four chances per grade. FOUR CHANCES.  At least in international schools or typical American schools, the grading system is based on participation, everyday homework, classwork, and finally tests. There could be more “chances” in this American type of education. 

   But the fact is, both systems are hard. I, having been taught by those two systems, know that one is not easier or harder, they both need extreme amount of time and hard work. 

I’ve been seeing younger kids, about middle schoolers, who are struggling in studying. And it reminded me of…..me.  I can honestly say, I was not the top in middle school. Although I have not finished high school, I love it, and I have really accomplished many things I wanted. However, middle school did not go well.  I felt always a tid bit behind everybody. I didn’t feel confident enough to excel. The fact is, I always were looking at those who were succeeding. Who were smart, and always being the teacher’s pets. I always stood behind them and thought, ‘Those kids must be destined for their great success…will I ever get my spotlight?’  

    Regarding those who are intelligent, and exceptionally genius, everybody has to work and practice 80% to achieve your want. It’s a matter of who tries the hardest. Many people talk about how bad they are in math, or how bad they are at writing, however, in our level and our age, anyone can be good. Some might be more talented in that genre, and they might learn things faster, but that doesn’t mean those that are not fully developed will never get it. If they try hard and do anything to understand and improve, they will achieve it. 

   As I flip the pages of my school life, I see this process and gradual development of myself. 

In middle school, my mind was always jealous of those who were better than me, and I was always one notch down. Even the things I was good at, I couldn’t support myself, so I fell. 

 However, in high school, that changed. I started to think more positive and opened my”self” into a whole new world of learning. It didn’t matter if I was the most dumb kid in my class, or if I was a bit better, I always sat down and told myself, ‘You can learn so much, concentrate and be confident!’ And it really worked. I always talk to myself, constantly. Telling me to do better or complimenting myself. I have actually seen people tell me, ” Why are you talking to yourself? So weird..” And who cares if I am weird, and if I’ve gone out of my mind, it’s what helps me to improve and become a better person.

  This chapter is to those who struggle so many ways, and to those feel like they want to be something but they can’t. I have been exactly in your shoes. I have been through the same obstacles and still is going through it. It’s just that I think differently. I think in a farther vision. 

And that is what you all should think too. There will always be a day and moment when you will be on the stage. There will always come a day when you can smile and feel extremely proud of “yourself.” 

   P.S. Do not mistaken that EVERYBODY will get this moment, it’s only those who really work for it. So if you are someone who have worked and worked so much and still hasn’t achieve it, then I promise you will get that main character on stage. 

 And nobody can be an ugly duckling, even ugly duckling became a beautiful swan!! Think of yourself in the future, blooming into a incredible person! Think positive~that’s the road to success.

I Hate Time…Why Can’t I Just Love It?

This post is actually for me. This is a very exceptional case, but I am writing this post for myself and myself only. I’m trying something new.

The fact is, I have a little bit more than 2 weeks left, and I have been procrastinating.  This is the worst habit I can ever think of. It’s just as bad as drinking or smoking for me. You get addicted, and you constantly fall into the trap of procrastination.  

  And that is exactly how I am these days. Putting aside all of my “must-do” work, and sleeping or wondering off. I can’t punish myself, or scold myself….It doesn’t work anymore. 

WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO!!!???

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So to help myself get over this horrible habit, I am going to think of MANY consequences to this procrastination system. I hope while I list them off, I can realize the troubles that I will get, and start to think straight again.

Ok, here it goes.

You will be tired. You will get a low score or get in trouble for not finishing. You will regret. You know you hate regret. You will not be able to do other things, because you couldn’t finish this. You are ruining your life. You need to face the fact that time is not going to stop, and nobody is going to give you any. 

Now my nervousness is coming….I actually like this method….torturing myself to concentrate.

   I guess you guys can try this too. Good luck.

Destination

I mentioned this very briefly in my last chapter, and I wanted to extend on it.

Destination. Well, I am a very strong christian, and this might already tell you what I believe in destination. I believe that God has every right, and every power to decide on my destination.  I Believe that he has drawn my life already, and has put it inside of me. There are so many questions I want to ask, personally to God, because what if I do something different than what God expected? Will the map that he drew, be out of order? Or did he literally trace every single footstep of my life? 

Whatever he did, I do not mind. However, I slightly hope that human’s can have the power to change the original map. I wish I can change my map that God drew. I want to change it to what I want my life to be. And again, maybe that is what God drew. He might’ve drawn the change of my life, and the different path I want to take.

  It’s so useless and at the same time so amazing with the fact that God already planned what I’m going to do tomorrow, the next day, and when I graduate college. I want to know what I will be doing on April 30th, 2028….. 

Isn’t that so breathtaking? I can’t breath to the fact that my life is planned and that my life is somewhere already in the world, and I’m so close to picking those stones up.

  To those who do not believe in Christianity or in any religion, don’t take any of this seriously, and please mind that this is purely my opinion and my knowledge. There is no need to hate me for how I think or oppose me. Thanks for the understanding.

Egyptian Mummies and Chinese Zombies

Look at my title, Egyptian Mummies and Chinese Zombies…what do you think?

Well, to those who have learned about mummies and zombies, you guys will probably be tsking me, or correcting me.

To those who are not sure, it will just look like a cool ass title.

It’s both! 

And I know my mistakes, thank you.

I’ll tell you, mummies can never be from China, and Zombies can never ever be from Egypt. If they even go to the other countries their souls will rot and eternal life will not exist upon them. The origin of these two…what shall we call it….after life models….are mummies are from Egypt and Zombies are from China. 

It’s very basic because the reason why Egyptians made mummies, was because they wanted the dead to have a place on Earth, if they wanted them to come back.  If you all have seen the movie, Mummy, you will probably get it now.  So if the dead soul was willing to come back to Earth, they couldn’t just come, they needed a body, and so that is why people made mummies so that the souls can come back into that mummy and live on Earth again. They tried to not make the body rot and they preserved everything very carefully. 

Zombies on the other hand, are quite different. Zombies are for people who could not go on to Heaven, or to the afterlife, so they are stuck in the middle, being zombies! They are rotted and disgusting. If you saw in Scooby Dooby Doo, you will see what a zombie looks like. Maybe if you haven’t chosen what you want to be for Halloween, you can be a zombie!! 

Oops, I got a bit off topic, but what I wanted to ponder about was how at these two very uniquely different types of places, they still thought of similar thoughts. The fact that there was an afterlife, and the fact that there is another place.  Although not everyone thinks that there is heaven, many people do. And the fact is, Egyptians and Chinese also evaluated that there was Heaven.

How we all lived in different centuries, different times, we still thought of the same things….It really strikes me. We must really relate, our ancestors, and our past. We developed from them, we did not suddenly become a new type of human. If we think deeply, we are the same people. For example, if those people were dropped in the 20th century, they would be having a hard time, although the BASIC BASIC means of life and the concept might actually be similar. We might be able to communicate in that way, in the way that humans have the same soul and inner belief.

  I don’t believe in zombies or mummies, but I believe that someday, that the day I die, I will be in another world, another world full of new perspective and life.

Life of A Flower

 Day and night, day after day, I sit in the same table, in the same seat of my dining room table.  That is where I eat all of my daily food; breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack. The only things I do there are eat, talk, and…..eat. But I did something different today. Other than just concentrating on my food, I looked around my table.  There were the two candles my mom displayed, and a bunch of flowers in a huge pot.  As I looked at those flowers, they were simply so pretty. The petals were huge, they were filled with colors of pink, green, and white.  And the most standing out feature of the flowers was it’s part with pollen. However, all the flowers except one didn’t have pollen on it. I was a bit shocked. Were all the flowers retarded?

 The answer was, my mom purposely ripped the pollen part off because it fell on the dining table….well, that’s her explanation.  

   For me, I was going into a deep thought. The fact is, how does flowers become flowers? They simply mate in  their flower antennas (sorry for not using correct flower terms), and things such as wind or bees come by and spread pollen. That’s how a seed is made! 

But if you think about it, that’s exactly what human’s life is too! It’s not that human’s are destined to be with someone, well, maybe God has a destination for us, but we don’t know that. We could meet someone unexpectedly and fall in love, or find some connection.  All these things that pass by our lives, are in the end very important. These things are something that connects us to someone or to something. Everything happens because of something. “IF A then B.” The hatred of science and math and history comes in handy sometimes….I admit.

  Our lives are as beautiful as flowers, our relationships are as unexpected and surprising as when a bee comes by and connects, and our time on Earth is so short, just like the life of a flower.

However, one difference is that in that short period of time, human’s learn the meaning of life and are able to experience something farther and more complicated than any other creatures on Earth.

Field Trip To Heaven

There are always those days when you think of crazy thoughts, those, what if I~? Wouldn’t it be cool~?

  And these days, I have so many of those in mind, and one of them is trying to know what it feels like in heaven. I don’t want to talk about how I will feel when I die, and worry about if I’ll ever go to heaven or not, but simply, I want to know how heaven feels like. Some people say that heaven is only as big as a parking lot.  But what sized parking lot? Those small, no-aired, Korean parking lots? Or the American traditional Walmart parking lots?

What will it have?  What kind of food will it have? Is it just going to be a huge piece of land with everyone who died sitting on the ground?

Where would God be? 

    I dream of heaven being similar to the old greek myths. With Hercules and all those confusing named gods. There was a disney show, where in a cartoon they drew the greek myths and the setting there is still in mind.  Heaven is just a huge hall, and in the end, God is sitting there with angels flying around him, giving him cherries and goodies.  Then all the people who came to heaven are sitting around giggling and having picnics. There is no night, and the weather is always perfect.  The atmosphere is very slightly filled with fog, but the fog that comforts you.

Other than the scenery of heaven, who will I meet? Will I be able to meet famous people?  Wouldn’t it be so cool to be with George Carlin and listen to his comedy, or sit down with President Ford and get lectures? Or ask Mr. Russert how he felt when had to leave his family behind….

Which brings me to how heaven can be such a beautiful and calm place, but at the same time, will we still have emotions that will make us think about our family or what is happening in the world?

  IF I went to heaven in the age of 15, I would be so excited, truthfully. I mean, God is there, and it’s ….heaven!! But…what will I do about my family? What will I do with everything that I left behind? It would definitely feel like nothing was worth it, but at the same time, I would desperately want to go back. 

  I know that God will not just let anyone get into heaven and I know that God will know what moment to put us there. 

 The thing I’m curious about is, what about those kids in the world who died at an early age? Where are they? What future has God seen in those children?

    Other than all those negative things that might happen, I still want to take a quick field trip to heaven!